I worked as an engineer in the fast paced, corporate environment of the big city. Very exciting for a kid right out of college – generous salary, high end projects – I was on my way to the big leagues. Nearly a decade passed. Throughout that time, I always had this feeling that something wasn’t right, but I kept it hidden to myself, and by default, everyone else. I needed a shock to my system, and that happened when I was donating blood one evening after work on a winter night in 2007. They took my blood pressure reading and it was 152/100. How could that be possible? I’m young, I work out a few times a week, I eat pretty healthy, and I take care of myself. There is no way I have high blood pressure. Then I looked back at the past decade of my life. I commuted 2-3 hours a day fighting traffic, constant train delays – even the weather made it worse. Work was piled on my desk the moment I walked in – messages, emails, meetings – all needing immediate attention to prevent the engineering apocalypse. Lunch breaks disappeared. Even a few minutes having a friendly conversation with a coworker was impossible if I wanted to even consider being able to catch a decent train home. Every deadline I met was preceded by three more I had to finish at the same time. Projects were no longer about doing a good job; it was all about the bottom line, climbing the corporate ladder, covering up mistakes, shifting the blame, and moving on to the next one before anyone knew what happened.
My high blood pressure was only a small piece of what was happening with my health. My body ached from sitting 10 hours a day. My stomach was tied in knots with such consistency that I couldn’t eat without upsetting it. I couldn’t fall asleep at night anymore. If I did manage to doze off, I’d be wide awake a few hours later. Because of this I could barely stay awake at work. I was exhausted to the point that trying to do anything enjoyable on the weekend became a chore. I honestly didn’t have fun doing anything I used to enjoy because all I thought about was how stressed I was. I just wanted to sleep. Sad thing was, I never told anyone about any of this. I just accepted all of this as normal human behavior – it’s admirable to work hard, right? I lied to myself that the awful physical & mental side effects are just supposed to be part of the deal. My life and the world around me were literally disappearing while being chained to the desk chair in an office coffin.
Depression has a history in my family. I was drowning and ignored all the symptoms. I still can’t believe I was oblivious for so long, but that blood pressure reading finally opened my eyes. Depression has wormed its way through my life. The solution was not with doctors and medications. It was from within myself. It was time to make a change, but my mind spun. What would I do? How could I make a living? Leave a high paying job in a bad economy where unemployment was at near record highs? That’s insane. Funny thing is, wanting to change wasn’t insanity. Sitting there and accepting what I was going through for so long was the truly crazy part.
After opening up to my girlfriend (now my wife) for the first time, our conversations turned to my workouts. She said that I seemed to always enjoy them, why not turn a hobby into a profession? The solution was right in front of me and I never even saw it. Her comment was the spark that ignited the fire. With realizing this, I also thought of something else. I’ve seen so many afflictions with family & friends – heart disease, cancer, depression, Alzheimer’s, stroke, the sad list goes on – I discovered it didn’t have to be like that. All these health conditions are things that can be prevented by being more active, eating better, and living a positive lifestyle. Everything I read proved it time and time again. My family & friends with those afflictions would still be around today if they had someone in their lives that helped them live healthier. I could not only improve my life, but I could even be the person to help change someone else’s.
I decided to become a personal trainer. I opened up to my immediate family & close friends about what I was going through the last ten years and what I was going to do about it. I researched what I needed to do to begin my career as a trainer, talked to those who could help, began to look at places I might work, and spent my last year in engineering studying and saving up as much money as I could to prepare for whatever happened.
The plunge was taken and I said goodbye to my engineering career on Thanksgiving week of 2008, and took the test for my first personal training certification that December. (My wife & I watched the movie Dodgeball the night before the test to mentally prepare me. Best study material ever.) I passed the test and hit the job search full throttle. After a few months of searching I was lucky enough to get my first training position at a chain mega-gym. It was a really tough, slow start, and I honestly questioned whether I had what it takes to be a trainer. My very first client on my very first day requested to work with another trainer after working with me. That moment was not encouraging the way I wanted it to be, but it was what I needed in order to push myself. I had no choice. I needed to succeed. I couldn’t go back to my old lifestyle.
I was able to gain some experience and education over the next year. Unfortunately, the business oriented aspect of the gym ended up being too much about profit and not enough about the client’s health. For the most part, people are a commodity to the big gyms. It was all too much like the office life of the engineering world. Time to take what I’ve learned and move on.
